But it turned out that all of these people that I spoke to did exactly what Matt Abrahams is suggesting: they prepared. Yeah, so actually I was quite surprised to hear that preparation was such a key thing because I thought they were just all naturally gifted schmoozers. What are the secrets of the elite schmoozers when they come to prepare for small talk? You know, things where they can actually really talk like a human being.Īnd Pilita, you wrote a wildly popular column a couple of months ago about elite schmoozers and their secrets. And instead talk about, you know, the affairs of the country they’re in or cultural things they would recommend. So yeah, that’s definitely one thing to avoid. I’m deeply worried about what this means for this posting. And the diplomat in question, you could tell, was just thinking, well, I’m not having a good time. I remember in the run-up to the 2016 presidential election, someone clearly thinking that they were having an interesting chat about the prospects of Donald Trump winning. If they are a political appointee, it’s a little bit like going up to someone whose firm is going through a merger or an ownership change and going, so you must be worried about your job. So, I would say the number one is actually don’t talk too much about politics in their home country, to topic in which they aren’t really allowed to express interesting things, in most cases. So in most social situations, there are probably some questions that are a no-no. You want them to continue to talk to you and you need to find out things that are useful for your home country or our newsletter, Inside Politics, without, you know, having to be spirited out of the country at the dead of night because you’ve said something like, actually, you know, Taiwan is an independent country or something similarly gnarly. Unlike many other bits of journalism, I’m kind of stuck with the same group of contacts every week. I mean, in some ways, actually, I think what a diplomat has to do at a social function is similar to what a political journalist has to do in their beat. Well, sometimes they are more loose-lipped but not if they are good at the job, right? The KPI of a good diplomat really is to make people feel warm and liked and not to create difficulties for their home country. I guess diplomats are one class of people who always think before they speak, or can they be more loose-lipped than that?
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Stephen, you’ve recently written a piece in the FT about how to make small talk at a diplomatic function. So I might go into a room thinking about a few things to talk about. A lot of us, especially when we’re nervous or anxious, get very self-focused and being audience-focused, other-focused can help. I think doing a little bit of stockpiling in advance, thinking about some topics that would be relevant to the people in the room. Or rather, before we even begin, let’s hear some more advice from Matt about how a good conversationalist, like a good scout, always comes prepared. Well, Matt said your priority in conversation is to keep things moving. His job must involve some fascinating conversations, but only when they’re strictly off the record. It’s great to be here.Īnd Stephen Bush writes our daily Inside Politics newsletter and is a regular on the Political Fix podcast. I see exactly what you did there, Isabel. Pilita Clark’s an award-winning columnist who covers corporate life and climate change so she’s an expert on hot air (Pilita laughs). Here in the studio I’ve also got two other seasoned socialisers, both colleagues of mine at the FT. We’ll be hearing some more nuggets of eloquence from Matt throughout today’s program, but he won’t be dominating the conversation. And he’s written a book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You’re Put on the Spot, which will be published this September by Simon and Schuster. He’s also the host of the popular podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart. He’s a communications lecturer at Stanford University in the US. It’s really about just keeping things going. And as in tennis land, that one ball that’s gonna win the game for me. Your job is simply to keep things moving. Why are some people so good at schmoozing? Is it about knowing what questions to ask? Or is it more a question of adopting the right mindset? In this episode, we’re talking about that essential tool for networking and career advancement, the art of good conversation. Hello and welcome to Working It from the Financial Times with me, Isabel Berwick. It’s like somebody served something to me and I have to return it and return it well. Many of us see these types of small talk, chit-chat conversations almost like a tennis match where things go back and forth. This is an audio transcript of the Working It podcast episode: ‘ How to master the art of schmoozing’
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